You may have heard this quote, apparently, it’s from Roman philosopher Seneca,
“Luck is when preparation meets opportunity”
Maybe luck does exist in its own right; I rather hope so actually. The point though is that whilst you can’t predict exactly when opportunities will arise in life, there’s no doubt you are more likely to make the most of them with a bit of preparation, to increase the fertility of the soil if you will. I see coaching as part of that preparation.
Imagine for example that you want to progress at work but always seem to be overlooked. When opportunities come along you tend not to put yourself forward, you might credit others as more qualified, tell yourself your happier and safer as you are, but become frustrated as others move up. Coaching can help you understand the possible beliefs behind these behaviours, perhaps you tell yourself you’re not clever, experienced, likeable enough? Maybe you have traits of perfectionism which mean you can never satisfy your own standards? Or a belief that only arrogant people talk about their good points. A coach can help you get clear on your own talents, offer you alternative ways of telling these stories about yourself and help you develop different patterns of thinking, so that next time you are perfectly positioned to take that opportunity with confidence in your value and contribution.
Another example might be a friend, boss or relative who repeatedly says or does something that causes you hurt. Each time the opportunity arises for you to address the issue, you tell yourself it’s not so bad, that maybe it’s you. You let it go but remain hurt and a little more diminished each time. Coaching will help you look at how you value yourself and your needs compared to others. You might work together with tools to help you set appropriate boundaries and hold difficult conversations without suffering a guilt hangover.
Perhaps you dream of writing a book, buying your perfect home, starting a business, or finding a life partner? But you feel stuck. A coach can help you dig into the reasons you’re not moving forward, uncover the blocks and help you work to move through them. Coaching isn’t always easy though. Sometimes you discover uncomfortable things. Sometimes the habits and beliefs we hold onto most strongly (because they keep us safe) are the things preventing us moving forward. A good coach will ask careful questions, listen devotedly, challenge you when you need it and be your greatest cheerleader when shifts occur.
Here’s what one of my clients had to say,
“I am a part time GP, wife and mother of three, and for years I have felt that I was failing at all three. I felt that my best efforts were not enough and I was becoming stressed and angry and at risk of losing the things that were most precious to me. I was recommended to Jo by a mutual friend.
I find it difficult to put into words the difference that she has made. For the first time in years I no longer feel controlled by my emotions. Jo has given me the tools to understand my emotional processes and I feel more in control of my responses to difficult situations.
Jo’s empathy, listening skills and remarkable insight along with the tools that ‘One of Many’ provide have been key to these changes.
My home is now a happier, calmer place, as am I.
If you have ever thought that there must be a better way to live then I would urge you to work with Jo to achieve the changes that will make it all worth-while.
Thank you Jo.”
It is true that nothing good ever comes easy, but the point at which you might consider working with a coach is when the frustration and pain of staying stuck, outweighs the discomfort of addressing what’s in your way.
If any of this resonates, I would love to help. If you are intrigued and would like to know more, why not book a discovery call with me? Email firstname.lastname@example.org or call 07815 899342. We can chat about the area of life in which you are dissatisfied and see if we are a good fit to work together.
Let’s see if we can make you a little luckier!